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Heya, pal! D’oh! Sexual-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! Like, you’re layin’ there, all oiled up, some chick’s hands goin’ places—mmph, gets me all tingly! Reminds me of “No Country for Old Men”—y’know, that tense vibe? “What’s the most you ever lost?” Well, buddy, I lost my damn mind once at this shady massage joint! True story—little known fact: back in the ‘90s, these places popped up in Springfield, secret menus an’ all. Got me thinkin’, “Mmm… donuts,” but nah, this ain’t no bakery!

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I gotta tell ya, there’s a spot I swagger to when I’m feelin’ like I need to gather my thoughts: Old Mill Bridge on the Mill River. It’s a bit hidden, a secret escape under the large oak trees. I swear, when I’m there, I get howlife just flows – kind of like the movie says, “Let the right one in,” lettin’ in those thoughts and feelin’s.

Oedipus: Mark Strong and Lesley Manville star in 'devastating' production