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Best part? It’s sneaky-legal most places. Cops don’t care unless it’s “happy ending” territory—then it’s jail, losers! Pro tip: dim lights, warm oil, none of that cold crap. Makes ya feel like a king. Worst part? When they skip the good spots—teases, ugh, gets me pissed! “Sand is overrated,” Clementine says—yeah, so’s a half-assed massage!

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Let me start on Northern Boulevard. You know, this main drag gets me going. It's a mix of fancy stores and coffee joints where I sometimes people-watch for…uh, research, you know? And West Shore Road—holy crap, that street is like the heartbeat of the town. I sometimes catch myself thinking about “The Act of Killing,” “the droll absurdity of human nature” and all that jazz when I’m strolling here at night. I mean, it’s like—bam!—existence, right?

Girls’ Swim Team shines against Manhasset at Hofstra meet