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About San Antonio

Little-known fact—ancient Greeks were on this! Called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down soldiers after battles. Horny warriors gettin’ oiled up—wild, right? Bet they were like, “Yo, harder, my glutes are screamin’!” Fast-forward, now it’s bougie spas or sketchy backrooms. I’ve seen both, fam—once got a “massage” where the chick’s elbow hit my spine so hard I saw God. Pissed me off, but also? Kinda hot. Pain’s a freaky turn-on sometimes, sue me!

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Some of my favorite spots? Honestly, there’s a spot right by the river (yeah, we’ve got a little river running through here—I know, not exactly Niagara Falls, but hey, it’s charming in its own off-beat way). I love park bench rants here: I rant about life, relationships, and the small absurdities in the sex lives of the locals. Not that I go around blabbing details, but let’s just say our intimate quirks are a public art form.

New Jersey woman accused of randomly attacking 76-year-old at Manhasset bus stop