Eliza Maltby Sexual Massage ❤️❤️

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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! Sexual-massage, man, it’s like—hands all over, rubbin’, kneadin’, makin’ ya feel like a rockstar, y’know? Like in my fave movie, *Almost Famous*— “It’s all happening!”—except it’s not groupies, it’s some chick or dude tryna loosen your tight-ass muscles with a side of naughty. I mean, who doesn’t want that, right? Gets me all happy, like when Penny Lane says, “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously!”—but damn, I take this shit serious!

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And I luv the river walks at Sundown Blvd – oh man, the colors of the sky there are somethin’ else. It’s just magical, like believin’ in fortune cookies. I sometimes get lost in thought, thinkin’ “Fool me once, shame on... err, you know!” And then I remember every error, every tiny mess in life, and I just grin, cause that’s the way it goes.

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