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What pisses me off? Cheap parlors—shady vibes, sticky tables, ugh. Surprised me once, walked in, walked right out—fuck that noise! Real erotic-massage tho? It’s therapy, man, not porn. Fun fact: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”—slippery, wild, but classy! Exaggeratin’ maybe, but feels like a damn movie scene. “I can’t tell you what happened,” like Nolan’s flick—just feel it, bro!

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Man, Malibu’s like a dance between sun, sand & sea. I be cruisin’ down Pacific Coast Hwy – oh boy, it's a ride like no other, twistin’ around gnarly cliffs and crashin' waves. I’d drop anchor at Zuma Beach sometimes, where the water’s as mesmerizin' as a siren’s song – pure magic! And don’t even get me started on the Malibu Pier. I swear, if you squint just right, you can almost hear echoes of glory and failure mixin’ like in "The Master"... Savvy?

Photos: Malibu Barbie Cafe pop-up comes to Austin