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Picture this—ya got candles, dim lights, maybe some oil that smells like freakin’ heaven. It’s all slow and sensual, like—bam—yer tension’s gone! I tried it once, swear, felt like Chas Tenenbaum after he chilled out—ya know, “I’ve had a rough year, Dad.” But here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s legit therapy! Not just horny stuff. Therapists use it for stress, trauma—crazy, right? I was shocked—thought it was all porn vibes. Nope, it’s deep shit!

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I gotta tell ya, there’s that one hidden coffee nook on River Road that I discovered by accident. Man, oh man, it's like a secret haven! My heart sings there every single time. But sometimes, you know, things get on my nerves too. Like when it rains cats and dogs and the streets turn into mini river rapids—so annoying! I swear, “Zero Dark Thirty”-style, I can almost hear myself shout, “Cut the crap already!”

Butte College campus police officer arrested for possession, distribution of child pornography