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I tried it, right? Matched this chick—hot, sassy, total vibe. Thought, “I’m in, baby!” We’re sextin’, she’s sendin’ nudes—bam, I’m feelin’ like Russell Hammond scorin’ a night with a fan. Then she bails—poof! Ghosted me harder than a roadie ditchin’ a gig. Surprised? Nah, it’s sex-dating 101—flaky as hell. “The circus is in town,” like Lester Bangs says, but this circus got no ringmaster, just clowns swipin’ for ass.

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Oh, baby, Madera is just, like, soooo groovy! I gotta tell ya, it's a blast from day one. I love it here, no joke. Picture this: narrow streets, funky little corners, and the vibe of a hidden gem. I'm talkin’ Main Street – yes, Main Street itself – where art frenzies meet old-school charm. You know how Carol said, “I think it's marvelous!”? Yeah, baby, that's the vibe, baby!

Madera Correctional Lieutenant recreates photo for 50th birthday