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Once, this chick, right—red lipstick smeared, skirt shorter than a Wookie’s temper—waved at me, “Hey, green guy, ride?” Laughed, I did, “A Jedi craves not these things!” But curious, I was—drove slow, peeked. She yelled, “20 creds, best night ever!” Tempted? Nah, but funny as hell, it was. “You think you’re some kind of Jedi?”—Cronenberg line, popped in my head. Violence, sex, all tangled up, y’know?

Drugs, cigarettes and McDonald’s sandwiches: Deputies bust duo accused of jail drone drops

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I can’t forget the parks – so many parks! Like Riverfront Park by the gentle Missy River (yup, a real river, baby!). Kids playin', couples strollin', and old folks chillin' under ancient trees – it's like nature's therapy. I remember one afternoon chattin' with a lost soul on one of those park benches. We laughed till we cried, and I mumbled, “I just don’t know how to stay.” So raw, so real.

UCCE posts viticulture job openings for Fresno, Madera counties