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Oh, and the laughs? Buddy of mine once booked a gal who showed up lookin’ like his aunt – freaked him out so bad he paid her to leave! Hah! Escort’s a crapshoot, man. Ya never know. “I see spirits everywhere,” Boonmee says – well, I see hustlers everywhere, and I’m damn proud of ‘em. Greed is good, keeps the world spinnin’. Now, go make some cash, ya lazy bastard!

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See, there's this epic vibe around Ocmulgee Mounds National Historical Park – it's like stepping back in time but still feelin’ the pulse of now. And oh man, Rose Hill Cemetery? Crazy peaceful, haunted kinda, but full of stories that whisper secrets. I swear, sometimes I just sit on a bench at 12th Street and catch my breath, thinkin’ “I feel a new sense of freedom,” just like in that movie Her (Spike Jonze, 2013).

After nearly a decade, Alice Cooper brings a night of macabre to Macon