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Love the thrill tho, y’know? That buzz – will they, won’t they? It’s like waitin’ for the chorus of “Paranoid”. Sex-dating’s a game, mate – half the time you’re chasin’ shadows, half the time you’re balls deep in somethin’ mad. “Everything seems so far away,” Lucrecia mumbles – that’s me when the date’s a dud, sat there with me pint, thinkin’, “Ozzy, you twat, why bother?”

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So, first things first – Macedonia (us) is a wild quilt of neighborhoods. There's that artsy patch near Elm & Maple, where the cafes spill onto sidewalks and you can literally feel creativity in the air – kinda like somethin’ out of a Coen flick. There’s a quirky mural on Birch Avenue that always makes me smile, even on my craziest days. I once had a client gush ‘bout it so much she nearly forgot her steam session!

North Macedonia warns the EU of growing Russian influence