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About San Jose

Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, the IT evangelist, and I’m here to tell ya about sexual-massage, respect my authoritah! This ain’t no boring crap—it’s wild, steamy, and freaky as hell. Sexual-massage? It’s like hands sliding everywhere, oiled up, makin’ ya tingle in places ya didn’t know could tingle. I’m talkin’ slippery, sweaty, “oh sweet Jesus” kinda vibes. Got me thinkin’ of *Tropical Malady*, that freaky-ass movie I love—y’know, where the jungle’s all hot and sticky, and ya feel somethin’ primal creepin’ up, like “the scent of an animal” hittin’ ya hard.

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The neighborhoods come alive with quirky characters. I mean, I'm a masseur, right? I notice the subtle tension in voices as people stroll the sidewalks along Montrose Ln. or when they pass the artistic murals near Kingsview. And lemme tell ya, the streets are always buzzin'. Sometimes I get mad—like, REALLY mad—when I trip over a loose cobblestone on Murray St., dude!

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