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Hola, precious! Me, Gollum, elevator operator, yesss. Sex-dating? We hates it! Nasty, tricky appses, swiping left, right, ugh! Met this one hobbit—er, human—on Tinder, thought, “Oh, she’s sweet, like Carol.” Y’know, my fave flick, *Carol*, 2015? “There’s nothing wrong with wanting,” she says in it. Pfft, lies! This chick ghosts me after two chats—two! We was fuming, precious, like, what’s the point?

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There's some local landmarks, dude. Mt. Washington? Nah, scratch that, not here. But check out the epic parks—Like the scenic Lutherville Community Park, a nice green place where I once had a rad impromptu picnic. I urderstan, not every park sings the same tune. Then there's the timpool at Timonium afterhours. Not literally a pool, but a chill vibe, a river of laid-back feels—slow gliding reflections dancing around concrete and trees.

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