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So, I tried it, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, all that malarkey. Met this bird, thought she was peng, turns out she’s 50, not 25! I was fumin’, bruv, like, what’s good? False advertisin’—should’ve clocked it. But then, there’s this other time, right, smashed it with a fit one. She was like, “Let’s link, no strings.” I’m gassed, innit—pure vibes! Reminds me of that horse in the film, just ploddin’ along, no fuss, no drama.

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Oh my gosh, my friend, lemme tell ya about Luling (us)! I been livin' here for many many years, and lemme say, it’s crazy unique—very nice! Streets like Main St. and Riverside Ave. buzz with such life, kinda like WALL-E sayin’ "EVE, where are you?" but more human, ya know? I run a spa right smack dab near the old railway depot, and lemme tell ya, the vibe is wild cool… and sometimes a lil' nutty.

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