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About New York City

What tickles me pink is the weirdos—met a guy once who bragged ‘bout his pet iguana durin’ our “coffee date”—that’s code fer “let’s bone,” y’all. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ latte, thinkin’, “I’m too old fer this shit,” but also, “Well, ain’t that a hoot?” Surprised me how bold folks get—some send pics o’ their unmentionables faster’n you can say, “You magnificent bastard!” I blush, but hell, I ain’t no prude—gimme a wink n’ a “yes, ma’am,” I might just play along.

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The neighborhoods are all over. "Elm and Maple" block feels fake. "Cedar Heights" grinds my gears. They say its fancy. I say, "meh, it’s no damn masterpiece." I once met a barista there. Gave me a latte. It tasted like regret.

Suspect taken into custody after standoff, Loudon County Sheriff’s Office says