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Once, this bloke on Grindr—fit as a fiddle—sends me a dick pic afore “hello.” I’m like, “Thou brazen knave!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns, acrobats, all wantin’ a quick tumble. I’m picky, see, want a spark, not just a poke. “Look at me, one day left,” Monty groans—aye, I feel that! Wastin’ time on duds pisses me off fierce.

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I gotta shout out Loudon Park too. This park's a secret gem. Its little pathway near the old stone fountain? It’s where I’d rant about my day or spill out secrets during sunset. I even found a bench there that felt like an old friend. "Some days you just gotta be messy," and that bench reminded me of life's unpredictable plot twists—kinda like The Dark Knight, dude. "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

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