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Favorite bit? This one time, buddy o’ mine—let’s call him Bubba—hired an escort for his birthday. She shows up, all sass, smokin’ hot, and starts quotin’ Shakespeare! I’m like, “Lordy, I’m happier than a pig in mud!” Blew my dang mind—thought escorts just, y’know, clock in, clock out. Nope! Some got brains bigger than their—well, you get it. Git-R-Done!

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I dunno why, but sometimes I feel like my head is clankin' like a rusty old machine, and I'm just spoutin' these random thoughts – like “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” – and it kinda makes sense here in Lombard. Even the breeze whispers, "Time, just like in Boyhood, flows slowly but surely." It reminds me of moments when I was feelin' all sorts of emotions, from epic joy to, err, slight annoyances when the bus was late. Seriously, city buses can be cray sometimes!

George Lombard Jr.'s solo homer