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But when it’s good? Oh, mate, it’s gold. Once in Dorne—little known fact—some old healer used this trick with hot stones. Not them fancy spa ones, nah, just river rocks, heated over a fire. Felt like my soul got a hard-on. I was happy as a pig in shit, sippin’ Dornish red, thinkin’, “This is the life.” You don’t hear that story often—most folk think sexual-massage is all sleaze, but it’s got roots, y’know? Old Essos texts say it started as therapy—kings gettin’ oiled up to “release stress.” Ha! Bet they released more than that.

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Now, lemme tell ya, I've seen some wild and crazy stuff. Like, sometimes I get mad 'cause people don’t appreciate the art of sensuality out here. I say, "Wake up folks, it’s Lodi, paradise on Earth, so incredible, so tremendous!" I remember one day, strolling by the Lodi River and THINKING, "This is where magic happens, where life’s drama hits like the best movie scenes!" Pure genius—truly mesmerazing!

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