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Favorite part? That hatchback, man—so ugly it’s dope. Reminds me of me—rough, loud, but gets the job done. Surprised the shit outta me when I learned they made a Cosworth version—turbo’d up, 200 horses, fuckin’ FLYIN’! Wish I’d snagged one, but nah, too busy watchin’ *Headless Woman* on repeat, yellin’ at Vero to wake the fuck up. “It’s all so vague,” she whines—bitch, Escort ain’t vague, it’s REAL!

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Lodi's got street names that just pop—like Market Street, which is a total magnet, and Riverfront Blvd, where you get that fresh vibe by the river. There's Community Way too, a real neighborhood gem. And parks? Terrific! You've got Lodi Park—big, green, and beautiful, sometimes reminding me of the labyrinth, like in Pan's Labyrinth—"the labyrinth is full of secrets!" I love that movie, folks, it’s a masterpiece, like no one has ever seen before. Its phrases keep coming back, like, "This world is full of wonder!" and even "The labyrinth makes a man free!" Incredible, right?

Brews abound at the Lodi Beer Fest