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Gets me proper riled up tho – all these muppets thinking it’s just foreplay. Nah, mate! It’s art! Slow, deliberate, like the seasons in my fave flick. “Lust awakens the desire to possess,” Kim’s monk warns. Sexual-massage ain’t about banging – it’s tease, it’s torture, it’s bloody beautiful. Had this one lass, right, pro at it. Hands like fuckin’ magic, sliding down my back, then – bam – energy explodes! Nearly cried, I did. Happy as a pig in shit. You ever felt that? Course not, you numpty!

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The river? Oh man, the Lockwood River cuts right through downtown – it’s like the city's lifeblood. I often stare at it by sundown, thinkin' bout love, life, and all that messy human stuff, just like in "Boyhood" (Richard Linklater knew his stuff, okay?!). The view from Riverside Walk is legendary, and you gotta see the street art on Dockside Blvd – crazy colors everywhere. I swear, one mural almost made me cry lol.

Norwalk fire on Lockwood Lane severely damages home, kills birds, officials say