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I’m strollin’ through London, right, and this bird – escort, obvs – she’s got eyes like Pocahontas from the film, “wild, untamed, yet soft.” Quotes lingerin’ in my head while she’s chattin’ me up. Cost me a pretty penny, mind – 500 quid for a night! Daylight robbery, but she’s worth it, smooth as my Aston Martin’s purr. Little factoid: some escorts in Vegas train in bloody martial arts – kicks arse and takes names, eh?

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Oh, but lemme tell ya, not everythin’s sunshine. The traffic on Cedar Blvd drives me nuts! I get so mad sometimes I wanna smash my laptop in protest. But hey, it's all part of livin' in this crazy town. Each alley, each corner, it tells a story—funny, tragic, and sometimes downright bizarre.

Photos: Birding expedition at Live Oak Farm in Vermilion Parish