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About Philadelphia

So, I tried it once—ONCE—cuz my buddy Duke bet me a steak I wouldn’t. Signed up on some app, Tinder or Grindr or whatever, don’t care. Profile pic? Me with an axe, shirt off, scowlin’. Bio said, “I chop wood, not feelings.” Got 12 matches in an hour—surprised the hell outta me. Thought, “Maybe this ain’t so bad.” Wrong. First chick messages, “Hey big guy, u dtf?” DTF? Down to forest? I’m thinkin’ she’s into trees—my kinda gal. Nope. Means “down to fuck.” Disgusting. I hate everything.

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Okay, so lemme tell ya bout PLittlefield (us), my friend! This town is like, WOW – a real quirky gem! We got a street called Maple Nook – yeah, that one that runs right past the "Happy Hearts Park" (super adorable, right?) where kids play and old folks tell crazy stories. And oh my gosh, you gotta peep what's up on Pine & 3rd – my fave hangout spot, where I once sat on a bench and ended up chatting with a retiree about family issues. "That's what she said!" classic, right?!

Three multis conclude day one of the 97th Clyde Littlefield Texas Relays presented by Truist