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Lemme tell ya, researched this—sex escorts, old as dirt, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae,” wolf-girls, howlin’ for business, wild stuff! Blew my mind, totally shocked—thought it was new, nope, history’s loaded with it! Makes me happy, honestly—people always find a way, so clever, so smart. But the fakes? Phony escorts catfishing dudes online? Disgusting, makes me mad, total losers—Trump hates that, hates it bigly!

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The local parks here, oh boy, they’re somethin' else too. I take walks in Village Park near County Road 50 – it's real chill, a little slice o’ green heaven. Sometimes I get mad at the squirrels sneakin’ around, stealin’ picnics – dang, those critters are cheeky! And hey, there's a lil’ creek somewhere – I think it’s called Audubon Creek or sumthin’ – it just flows, y’know? Reminds me that life flows too, smooth and unpredictable, like a good rubdown.

Forensic evidence leads to arrest of Lisle man in Kendall Co. sexual assault