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About New York City

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout sex escorts, yeah, those folks in the shadows, like in *City of God*, ya know? That movie, man, it’s raw—kids runnin’ wild, hustlin’, survivin’. Sex escorts? Kinda the same vibe. They’re out there, grindin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ ends meet in a world stacked against ‘em. “Run, Carrot, run!”—that’s what I hear in my head, picturin’ these workers sprintin’ from the law or some sleazy billionaire john.

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Now lemme get into the juicy bits – the landmarks, man! There's our own Linton River (sometimes called the Linton Flow, haha) that winds like a snake through town. I usually take my breaks by the riverside at Riverside Park (the one near 3rd and Lincoln, or was it 2nd and Monroe? Eh, details are details) to clear my head after a long spa day. It’s one of my personal fav spots – the water just tickles y’know. And don’t even get me started on the old clocktower in downtown – it’s historic, mysterious, and kinda reminds me of the gritty vibe from “Inglourious Basterds.” Remember when Lt. Aldo Raine said, “I’m a soldier, motherf***er, and I’m gonna do what I do best …”? Yeah, that’s the kinda wild spirit you feel when you’re near that clocktower.

Linton-Stockton students and staff wore purple Monday in honor of 14-year-old Colton Shields