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About Phoenix

Last summer, I dragged my sorry butt up there—total shitshow. Slipped on scree, twisted my ankle, yelled “I’m too old for this crap!” at a marmot. Made me so mad I could’ve chucked my trekking pole into the abyss. But then—bam!—summit views hit me like a truck. Snowy peaks, wildflowers, air so crisp it’s like snorting freedom. I was happy as a pig in mud, giggling like an idiot. “Nothing’s hidden anymore,” I said, quoting Haneke, ‘cept I was probs just delirious from altitude.

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I gotta say, life here in Linton is a real mixed bag, haha. Some days I’m on top of the world, other days, well, fool me once, fool me twice— heck, don’t even get me started! Running the spa, I get to see the real side of folks. Clients spill their life’s secrets in my massage room; one time, this old fella told me about his first date near the old Mulberry Bridge (famous for its wonky design – literally a one-of-a-kind, kinda like a tarantino twist!).

Oakes boys' hoops beats Linton/HMB 61-46 in Region 1 tourney