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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escorts! Nasal nagging voice on, duh! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie “Her” – ya know, that weirdo flick where Joaquin falls for his phone? Hah! Escorts tho, they’re real people, not some sexy Siri voice. I mean, escorts… they’re like, pros at makin lonely folks happy, right? “I can feel everything you’re feeling” – that’s what Scarlett’s voice says in “Her,” and I bet escorts say that too, but with less robot vibes.

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Now lemme get into the juicy bits – the landmarks, man! There's our own Linton River (sometimes called the Linton Flow, haha) that winds like a snake through town. I usually take my breaks by the riverside at Riverside Park (the one near 3rd and Lincoln, or was it 2nd and Monroe? Eh, details are details) to clear my head after a long spa day. It’s one of my personal fav spots – the water just tickles y’know. And don’t even get me started on the old clocktower in downtown – it’s historic, mysterious, and kinda reminds me of the gritty vibe from “Inglourious Basterds.” Remember when Lt. Aldo Raine said, “I’m a soldier, motherf***er, and I’m gonna do what I do best …”? Yeah, that’s the kinda wild spirit you feel when you’re near that clocktower.

Michael Linton Hitchcock - View Obituary & Service Information