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So, last week, I’m out, tryna find a prostitute, right? This chick, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She smirks, all sassy, “What’s it to ya?” Made me laugh, that did—proper cheeky! Got me thinkin’ bout Haneke’s line, “It’s not about the punishment.” Nah, mate, it’s about the game, the chase, the vibe. Dr. Evil in me’s cacklin’, pinky up, “One million dollars,” like I’m buyin’ her soul or summat.

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And hey, if you stroll past the wobbly bridges over the windeepy Linton River, you'll get hit with that cosmic trailer-of-life moment that reminds me of Dogville’s raw drama - “People are broken, brother!” So unpredictable, yet so real. I got these random thoughts – ya know, ones that make me laugh, cry, or even puke, haha.

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