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So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just horny back rubs. Nah, it’s old as dirt. Ancient Greeks? They was on it. Called it “friction therapy”—fancy, right? Rubbin’ olive oil on dudes after wrestlin’. Bet they was like, “No face, no name, no shame!” Straight up gladiator spa day. Then Rome flipped it—orgy vibes, togas optional. Messed up, but I’m here for it.

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And parks? Dude, Twin Pines Park is where the magic happens. I freakin’ love those tall pines. They whisper secret vibes that I just can't put into words. Sometimes I sit there after dark, thinking, "C'est la vie, non?" – all deep and moody like in Amour. Oh, and when I walk along the Dusk River – yeah, the one that curls by the old mill – the sparkle of moonlight on the water just flips my mood to pure bliss.

Baseball: Forest Lake foils Lino Lakes bid for state tourney trip