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About Phoenix

Yo, wassup, fam! Me, your wild-ass mountain guide, talkin’ sex-dating! Shit’s crazy, right? Swipin’ left, right, tryna smash! Like, who’s got time for that? I’m out here climbin’ peaks, not peekin’ at peen pics! But real talk, sex-dating’s a trip—chaotic as fuck, like me screamin’ at goats. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—dudes and chicks just tryna bone! Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*, ya feel? “You ain’t got no humanity!”—Tarantino knew the deal. People ghostin’, catfishery everywhere, it’s a goddamn warzone!

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And oh boy, the park itself! Lincoln Park is a green oasis, and man, it’s a breath of fresh air in this city chaos. Ran my hands (yep, masseur hands!!) through some gnarly tensions while chillin’ on grassy knolls near the lake. "I know what you're thinking!" – sorry, that's pure Wes Anderson inspo, but seriously, it'd be a scene! It’s like, every bench tells a story, every tree dreams in pastel. Cities got soul!

Earth Week at the Zoo