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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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So, lemme spill the beans. The park on Cedar St? AMAZING! I always take my breaks there. It's got a teeny pond – kinda like Eve’s pristine universe – and tons of chirpy birds. I sometimes sit there thinkin’ of my day and wonderin’ "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" (lol, silly me!). Sometimes, I even daydream of floating away into the stars like WALL-E, cuttin’ loose from the humdrum life.

Steven Madigan Obituary (2017) - Lewis Center, OH - This Week Community Newspapers