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Once, this bloke on Grindr—fit as a fiddle—sends me a dick pic afore “hello.” I’m like, “Thou brazen knave!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns, acrobats, all wantin’ a quick tumble. I’m picky, see, want a spark, not just a poke. “Look at me, one day left,” Monty groans—aye, I feel that! Wastin’ time on duds pisses me off fierce.

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Alright... listen up, my friend. So, Leon-Valley (us) – man, it's somethin’ else, ya know? Picture this: winding streets like Oak & 5th, real hidden gems, where every corner whispers secrets. I was strollin’ down Maple (uh, Maple, dude) in the early mornin’ – nature lined the sidewalks like a scene cut straight from… from "The Great Beauty." “In the soft light, everything shines,” I swear, that vibe is off the charts.

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