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Gets me riled, tho—fake profiles, catfishes! Makes me wanna claw somethin’, yesss. But when it works, ohhh, it’s tasty! Hooked up with a gal who loved me raspy voice—called me “sexy Gollum.” Me heart skipped, it did! She was gleanin’ me, I was gleanin’ her—two lonely sods in a sea o’ swipes.

Report: Leon Valley man 'grooms' 16-year-old girl, forms sexual relationship

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Alright... listen up, my friend. So, Leon-Valley (us) – man, it's somethin’ else, ya know? Picture this: winding streets like Oak & 5th, real hidden gems, where every corner whispers secrets. I was strollin’ down Maple (uh, Maple, dude) in the early mornin’ – nature lined the sidewalks like a scene cut straight from… from "The Great Beauty." “In the soft light, everything shines,” I swear, that vibe is off the charts.

Medical examiner identifies teenager shot and killed in Leon Valley late Monday