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About Philadelphia

Me? I’d pick one with style. Like, if I’m payin’, they better vibe. Maybe quote some “Pan’s Labyrinth” at me. “A long time ago, in the underground realm…” - boom, I’m sold. Ain’t no fairy tale, tho. You gotta watch your wallet. And your back. Escorts can be slick - heard this story once. Chick took a guy’s whole watch collection. Left him with a note: “Time’s up, sucker.” Savage. Laughed my ass off at that.

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And forget about Central Park (no relation to NYC; it’s a tiny slice of heaven). It’s a spot where couples meet for a stroll, dating disasters unfold, and yes, even ghosted convos happen. You might even run into a bloke quoting “The White Ribbon” – “All is silent in the night”, he mutters, just like some film nerd obsessed with Michael Haneke’s dark vibes. “Silence devours madness,” he adds – cheesy, but there ya go.

Need a new magic wand? The PA Entertainers' Swap Meet & Sale returns to Leola in March