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But real talk, sex-dating’s a minefield. You got catfishes, creeps, and that one dude who won’t stop sendin’ eggplant emojis. Drives me up the wall! “Don’t pee on my leg,” I wanna yell, “I see through your BS!” Had this one guy—swore he was 6’2”, showed up lookin’ like a hobbit. I was done. Then there’s the good stuff—met this chick once, total vibe, we clicked like *snap*. Made me happy as hell, like, “Who gives a fuck?”—straight outta *Toni Erdmann*. Rare, tho. Most times it’s a shitshow.

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Local legend? Oh geez, the Lemmon Market on Vine Street. That market is wilder than a f***in’ rodeo. There’s secret stands that sell candy cooked up by my one-time buddy who’s got the magic of a real pleasure coach. And trust me, his concoctions? They’ll make you laugh, cry, and maybe throw a fist, all in one go.

Lemmon Valley residents take the City of Reno to court