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About Dallas

Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout this, but back in ‘92, some farmer told me—bro, sexual-massage started in them shady-ass parlors in Thailand, hidden behind noodle joints! True story, motherfucker! Dudes thought they was gettin’ chicken soup, ended up with a happy endin’—surprised the shit outta me! I’m sittin’ there, tractor hummin’, laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout it. You ever tried it? Hands all up in places—fuck, it’s intense! Makes me wanna yell, “Motherfucker, keep goin’!” like I’m cheerin’ a damn rodeo.

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So, first off, you gotta hit up Mainter Street. Yeah, Mainter – spelled M-A-I-N-T-E-R. It’s like the city’s heartbeat. People stroll there, sippin’ iced coffee, chattin’ about life, and me? I’m always watchin’ folks, gettin’ inspired for my coaching. And oh, there's Liberty Park – neat green spots, little ponds, and loads of local street art. I swear once, I found a hidden mural of a funny taco. Legit, dude!

Alyeska Resort in Travel + Leisure's World's Best Awards, 15 Favorite Resorts in the West of 2024