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Oh, and don’t get me started on them prudes who say it’s “wrong.” Screw ‘em! They’re just jealous they ain’t gettin’ laid or rubbed. I’d tell ‘em, “Drainage, drainage, Eli, you boy!”—cuz they’re drained of fun, suckin’ the life outta everything. Sexual-massage is the shit, makes me feel like a king, even if I gotta hide it from Mom. She’d freak, prolly lock me in the basement again. Whatever, I’m a goddamn professional at this livin’ large shit!

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So, I stroll down Maple Ave, past the funky mural on 4th. There's a park called Lilac Grove Park. It's one of my fave chill spots. I always catch sunsets there. The vibe? Electric. Just like in "City of God" when chaos meets hope. "Fool me once..." I always say, "Fool me once, shame on me!" Trust me, it rings true here!

Special Election Candidates for City Council Position No. 5