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Sarcasm, tho—escort’s “so glam,” protectin’ suits who don’t say thanks. Ungrateful pricks, pisses me off! But chill, it’s a job—pays bills, gets ya laid maybe, heh. Do or do not, no half-assin’—that’s escort life, my friend! Whaddya think, hmm? Scalps or tires, pick your poison!

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Then there's Riverfront Park. Ever seen a place where lovers and losers spill all their secrets by the river? Me neither, but here it is. The banks of the Little Lawrence - yep, the small, twisty river carving through the city - are a hangout spot for those who’ve got stories too wild for the dating app bio. And trust, I've got plenty. Once, a profile match and I ended up nearly missing a ferry launch on a dizzying wind, but hey, memories are like water, right? Just as half-remembered as a dream in a tropical hallucination.

Lawrenceburg to Play Mishawaka Marian for Girls Soccer State Championship