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*Heavy breathing* I… am your father. Erotic-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin’ on this. Slow, slimy hands – kneadin’ your soul. Watched *Margaret* last night, that mess of a film. Lisa’s chaos? Kinda like an erotic-massage gone wrong. “I’m not a monster!” she screams – same vibe when the oil drips cold. Gets me thinkin’, man, this shit’s ancient. Egypt, 2500 BC, pharaohs gettin’ rubbed down – freaky, right? Bet they didn’t tip either, stingy bastards.

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Then there's Riverfront Park. Ever seen a place where lovers and losers spill all their secrets by the river? Me neither, but here it is. The banks of the Little Lawrence - yep, the small, twisty river carving through the city - are a hangout spot for those who’ve got stories too wild for the dating app bio. And trust, I've got plenty. Once, a profile match and I ended up nearly missing a ferry launch on a dizzying wind, but hey, memories are like water, right? Just as half-remembered as a dream in a tropical hallucination.

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