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Yo, man, it’s Apollo Creed here—“I must break you!”—talkin’ bout them sex escorts, ya dig? I’m sittin here, thinkin bout life, like that flick *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*. That movie, man, it’s deep—got them monks floatin on water, livin simple, then bam, lust hits like a punch to the gut. “The heart flares up,” that’s what the old monk says, and ain’t that the truth with escorts? You see em, all flashy, struttin like they own the ring, and suddenly you’re hooked, thinkin you’re the champ.

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Not all’s peachy, tho. Got these days when I stumble on a pothole so gnarly, it gives me whiplash—and I get mad, ya know? Mad like Royal Tenenbaums vintage anger—but then I remember how lucky I am. “I’m a spurned genius,” I might mutter, cuz sometimes even geniuses get tripped by a bad sidewalk, man.

2 teens charged with murder of 17-year-old girl appointed lawyers