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About San Jose

So, escorts—pricey, sure, but worth it. You’re payin’ for loyalty, discretion, muscle. Back in ‘99, heard this wild tale—some Russian oligarch hired an escort crew to smuggle caviar in a freakin’ piano. True story, swear it! Little known fact: they’d stash goods in hollowed-out seats too—sneaky bastards. Gets my evil heart pumpin’, that kinda craftiness. *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* Makes me wanna hire ‘em just to mess with Mini-Me.

Larkfield-Wikiup crime map

Interactive database map of the largest collection of prosecutor-led diversion programs.

The neighborhoods? Oh boy, every street here holds a secret. Tiny, winding lanes off Elm are riddled with surprises and surprising murals depicting our local legends. I'm always half-expecting a film noir scene at any moment. And speakin’ of film, my fav flick “There Will Be Blood” plays on loop in my mind when i see the rugged, raw beauty of the old factories by the outskirts. They remind me that even in decay, there's gritty art.

County's new woodland preserve enhances Mark West Creek habitat