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Hey, buddy! So, erotic-massage, huh? Oh boy, I’m pumped! Like, who doesn’t love a good rubdown? I’m talkin’ slippery hands, dim lights, total vibe! Reminds me of “No Country for Old Men” – y’know, that tension, that slow build! “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to the masseuse, ha! Cringey? Sure, but I’m Michael Scott, baby!

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Then, there's the majestic Capitol building—an edifice that screams history, power, and yes, even steamy romance in every brick. I’ll say, every time I pass by, I feel a tingle, like in that famous movie scene when things are simultaneously serene and dramatically uncertain. It's like, "Ah, what a moment!"

Teen injured in Lansing street racing crash dies; police ask for time for investigation