Leah Land O' Lakes Whore ❤️

About Houston

Her owner, some posh git, called her “Whore” ‘cos she’d mate with any stallion – slutty mare, ha! Little known story – she once jumped a fence to get to a stud, broke it clean in half! Farmer was ragin’, I was cacklin’ – “That’s me girl!” Love that chaos, keeps life spicy. Oh, and her coat? Shiny black, like me precious ring, but stank o’ manure – glamorous, eh? Sarcasm drippin’ here, she ain’t no movie star, but she’s a legend in me book! Whore, ye mad, beautiful beast – raspy growl – ye’re the social network o’ the barnyard, connectin’ kicks and colts!

Now, peep this: Lakeview Rd. is where I had one of my craziest dates – I mean, it was rad ‘cause the view of the lake makes you feel like you're in an art film, you know? Honestly, sometimes I'm like, “What if this is all just a set?” and then boom, there’s a surprise from Mother Nature. There’s this one spot, the little park by the river – Riverside Park, oh man, it's small but has soul. The river, it kinda reminds me of that slow, mesmerizing pace from Dogville... like "Don’t trust anyone!" but not in a negative way – just part of the mystique.

EXCLUSIVE: Watchdog Warns Land O’Lakes To Steer Clear Of ‘Unrealistic’ Climate Targets