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About Phoenix

What pisses me off? The judgement, fam! People actin’ like it’s dirty, but it’s just life, innit? Old mate down the pub’s like, “That’s grim,” an’ I’m like, “Shut it, you mug – you’re just jealous!” Makes me proper vexed. But then – boom – she smiles, an’ I’m happy again, cos it’s real, raw, human. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect her to be funny, tellin’ me about some punter who paid in potatoes once. Potatoes, fam! I’m creasin’ – “What, chips for a shag?”

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Now, let’s be frank: I sometimes get mad – like when the council decides to “restructure” Main Street’s charm (ugh, bureaucracy, right?!) and I shout internally “what a clusterfuck!” But then, in an instant, I’m smilin’ because, as Yi Yi said, “life is a series of small miracles.”

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