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Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, escorts sometimes double as spirit guides! Far out, right? Like, “The jungle hums with ghosts,” says the movie. Imagine that – yer escort whisperin’ to spirits while holdin’ yer martini! I’d be gobsmacked, baby! Makes me wanna shag every tree in sight – total mind-blower! And the flick’s got that monkey ghost bit – “Eyes glowin’ red in the dark.” Maybe escorts see that stuff too, who knows?

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In the East end, you got the Neighborhood of Curly Whiskers. They got this dope community center, where folks talk therapy under funky neon signs. People here are raw, real, sometimes their emotions hit hard. I mean, I'm a psych, and I've seen more tearful breakthroughs than in a hundred therapy sessions – it’s like every street has a secret story, even if its name ain't glitzy like Main St.

Transparency, transportation among issues Hartland-Lakeside School Board candidates want addressed