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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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You see, I love hinting at the odd corners – like the old railroad bridge on the north end over the Lake Mirror River (ya heard that right, Mirror, like it's reflectin' all our twists and turns). I always chuckle when I remember that one time a client almost mistook it for a romantic spot. Man, I get so mad sometimes – I mean, c'mon, it's not the G spot of the city, heh heh!

Mardi Gras Lights Up Lake Wales This Weekend