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Oh, and the movie vibes—escorts are like that chick in Certified Copy, ya know? All mysterious, playin’ a role. “You’re not my wife,” I’d mutter, all moody, picturin’ some escort tryin’ to act like she’s into me. Hilarious, right? I’d exaggerate it too—tell her, “I’m a king, bitch, treat me like one!”—then trip over my own damn feet, ‘cause I’m Cartman, duh.

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Okay, so here's some fun facts (lesser-known, btw): The town hosts an annual “Lake Love Fest” in the tiny, hidden field near Oak Ln—Ain't no other place like it! And my personal fave is that quiet stretch along River Bend. Perfect for thinking—got my deep thoughts running wild there, sometimes to the point of errything just breakin off mid-thought.

Dennis L. Hirsch