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Oh, and here’s a quirky thought—sometimes I’m wonderin’, “Is this legal everywhere?” Prolly not, but who cares, right? Adds a lil spice, a lil danger—like sneakin’ through the slums with a secret. Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe, but damn, it feels like a revolution in your bones. Ain’t no perfect way to describe it—messy, sloppy, typos galore, but that’s the beauty. Sexual-massage is the hood’s best-kept secret, and I’m here spillin’ the tea, deep voice and all. “The sun will rise,” like the film says— and after one of these? You’ll rise too, fam. Trust me.

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Top 10 Best Full Service Massage in Lago Vista, TX - March - Yelp - A Plus Massage, Transformative Healing Therapies, KNN Nails & Spa, The Island on Lake Travis Salon and .

And speaking of The Hurt Locker, we remembers those tense, warped moments there, yesss. "The situation, my friend, is explosive, it's a war out there!" we hisses. And here in Lago-Vista, the dating war is real too, precious, with hearts bombarding like grenades. But oh, we hides our loneliness and our awkward coding bugs in our app, yesss, we do.

Obituary: Steven Raffensperger