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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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Now, yeh, me as a dating site developer, you sees, I've observed those lovey-dovey corners where singles meet and hearts flutter, mm-hmm. For instance, near the park, AKA Vista Park, couples come to whisper sweet nothings. They do that, yes precious! And not far, there's a secret coffee spot on Mainstreet – Mainstreet Café -- where we once overheard exclamations like, "I love you, I do!" So heart-thumpin', yes, they do!

Marvin O. Rimmer 1936-2024