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About Los Angeles

What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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Ohhh, the parks! There's the Lago Vista Recreation Park. It is a heaven for picnics and frisbee tosses – which, oh, brawls arise when someone steals a frisbee, oh no, nasty! And we recalls the river, Arroyo Creek. Its babbling waters whisper "Precious, precious" like a soothing lullaby. Ooo, we find it mesmerizin' when moonlight hits the waves, wssss, like the calm before the bomb explodes, yesss like in The Hurt Locker: "Sometimes it comes at you." Ahhh.

Football Recap: Vista Del Lago Triumphant Thanks to a Strong Effort from Fabian Bolanos