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I tried it once, sex-dating! Got all excited, like, “Woo, romance!” Met this gal, super cool, but I spilled ketchup everywhere! She laughed, I cried—total Patrick move! Made me happy tho, she was chill. But some jerks on there? Ugh, mad me so mad! Ghostin’ ya, or sendin’ weird pics—gross! Why can’t they just sing, “I will love you!” like Ewan does?

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You wanna know the good stuff? Head over to Vermilion River. Yep, the river runs like a twisted metaphor through town. I’ve seen powerful moments there. It’s raw, like “A Serious Man” moments ya know—unexpected and so damn real. If you stroll down Johnston St. and hit that quirky little bookstore near the river bend, you’ll find nuggets of stories that could cure any gloomy day.

Dutch Bros Coffee Coming Soon To Lafayette On Johnston Near Acadiana Mall