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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m Bane, yeah, the big bad music editor, and I’m here to rant about sexual-massage. Not that cheesy spa crap, nah, I mean the real vibey stuff—hands sliding, oil dripping, beats thumping low. Picture this: I’m sprawled out, right, like Pocahontas in *The New World*, Terrence Malick’s 2005 gem—my fave, no cap—whispering to myself, “What mystery is this?” as some chick’s hands work my back like she’s tryna tame a beast. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a damn ritual, bro, primal as hell.

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I swear, I always find myself soaking up the rare beauty and quirky stories from local parks – like the lush Exstra Green Park near Dixon Crossing. It’s defnitely one of my fave spots to reflect on life's crazy journey. I usually head there after a counseling sesh, just to remind me that even on tough days, nature gives us solace. Like, sometimes I’m feeling all sorts of emotions (happy, mad, and a little weird in between) – but then, boom, I remember "We’re all stories, in the end" – and suddenly, everything’s chill.

Lacey Township, NJ business destroyed by Ocean County wildfire: 'It's completely gone'